Day 153 

June First. Morning and Afternoon = studying. College. Doubts and Frustrations. Luke. Violin. DEATH OF A SUPERHERO. my grammar. 

Here comes the rain. 
Whenever i don’t feel like studying, i go out and take pictures.
Whenever heavy rain and frightening lightning pay me a visit, i pray and sleep.
Whenever my back hurts, i do idiotic style of yoga.
Whenever i doubt, i dwell on the negative side bringing me more doubts.
Whenever i felt empty, i find happiness.  

Moving on with my life and with the “Death of a Superhero” (which you probably heard/read a lot of times in my blog).
I am in regrets for not studying well. “Well” as in learning by heart and not by “short term memory”. I am truly in regrets right now.
But my friend, Luke, helped me find my way again. All my doubts and worries were gone with the wind when he and i talked. He clarified some details that seemed to be blurred and simply listening to all my dramatic problems helped me a lot. The rest of the days before the month turns August, I, Inah, will dedicate her time in studying. “Less Blog, More Books” new motto. I hope i could live with that.

instead of drowning myself in regrets, i should do some actions.

Death. It is such a big word. I am scared of it. It turns the life of his prey into dark pits of miseries, frustrations, anger and lost. The prey feels he is worthless.

He wanted to become superhero to save all who needed help. He, himself seeks for help. To save himself, from death. Death kills every passage of happiness. It stops you from being in the scenario you are supposed to be in. It stops you to feel/make love with the one whom your heart only speaks. It stops you in achieving your dreams. By the time death touches your body, you feel a big noise in your head, and your head is clouded up with thoughts of escaping from it. An escape from death. Slowly you become helpless but you want to be “in control” of something. For once, you want to be in control of your own life. You start to feel different from the others. You are timed and they are not. You feel it is unfair. You don’t know where to go or what to do. Death does not only kill you physically but also mentally. When you lie in bed and start dreaming of something beautiful, a sudden black out will happen; You see only yourself, helpless and empty. Then, an armed man with long sharp claws is slowly going closer to you. You know what he wants, You. Yourself is the one he wanted. You can’t move your body nor shout for help. He is now right in front of you, second by second his sharp claws are getting deeper intact with your flesh. But instead of loosing power and strength, you regained hope. Somebody in shadows found you and give you strength. In this story, it tells us that if we are lost there are always people who will find us. Through them we could go back to the place where we begin and start again our journey. Start a new chapter of our life which we, ourselves only knew.
That is what Death of a Superhero is. for me. 
Death can be describe in so many different words. Death, for me, is painful but beautiful. In a short span of time, you see the world as if you are the only can see it, and that is beauty. 
Death entered his body. He is lost but someone found him. He start a new life which neither of us knew what he started. Only he, knows it. 
in the end, he finds love and accept death. The movie is a pure art. 

“When time is precious, living can’t wait” i finally understand. 

I also hurt my flesh today (May 31st) for “enjoying slicing bread”.   
It hurts a bit when salt meets my blood.  

Day 152 

Last day of May. Thank goodness i finally finish my grammar assignment. I didn’t focus well in studying today for i am distracted. I fell in love with the “bokeh” background in my photos so i start to take some photographs outside while the Sun is still there. When the heavy rain started to pour, i took a bus all the way to dreamland. zzzzzz.